Writing a queer romance story can be a lot of fun, though it can be nerve-wracking to get started—especially if you don’t fall under the LGBT+ umbrella yourself. How can you be sure you’re not stereotyping your characters or inadvertently falling back on stale old tropes? How do you accurately portray romance between characters when the relationship structure differs from what you’re familiar with? How can you avoid offending your readers or creating a story that negatively impacts the perception of the larger LGBT+ community? 

Worry not! Writing a queer romance might not be a straightforward process, but once you understand what to do and what to avoid, you’ll be able to create a vibrant love story with exciting, diverse characters—without misrepresenting what it’s like to fall in love as a queer person. 

This is told from my perspective as a self-identifying queer nonbinary person. Some individuals may not appreciate you using the word “queer” if you are not part of the community yourself because of its status as a reclaimed slur. Though I embrace the term, this discourse is something you should be aware of.

What is a “Queer Romance?”

Simply put, a queer romance is a love story that involves characters who are LGBT+, such as transgender characters, bisexual characters, asexual characters, nonbinary characters, and more. Even if a relationship is between one male and one female, that does not mean it isn’t queer—one or both of the characters could be bisexual, trans, aromantic, etc. 

Additionally, a romance can also be considered “queer” if it breaks the societal conventions of a traditional romance. This includes situations such as polyamory, queerplatonic relationships, open relationships, and more. Given the nature of these relationship structures, however, at least one of the people involved is usually under the LGBT+ umbrella anyway (just not always).

What Makes a Queer Love Story Different?

At their core, queer love stories are not fundamentally different from any other kind of love story. Someone who picks up a queer romance story can expect the plot to follow the characters as they discover their love for one another and face any challenges to their relationship along the way.

For some tips on writing romance in general, you can take a look at my other article, Romance 101: How to Write Characters Falling in Love.

Aside from the base premise, however, there are a few things that generally differ about queer romances in particular.

For one thing, characters’ self-discovery often plays a much larger role in queer romances when compared to their heteronormative counterparts. Before the queer romance can begin, the characters have to first understand themselves well enough to know that they are not cishet. (“Cishet” is a compound word combining “cisgender” and “heterosexual.” It simply means a person is not LGBT+.)

Self-discovery can occur at any point in the story, or throughout it. A character can begin to question their sexuality the moment they lay eyes on their potential love interest, or they could have begun their journey of self-discovery long before the start of the story. The situations of the individual characters can differ wildly too. One character may be secure in their sexuality and gender identity, while the other is in the midst of a sexuality or gender identity crisis. A character continuing to question their sexuality after the relationship begins can also be a good source of conflict for the story, both internally for the character experiencing the uncertainty, and for their lover who may feel inadequate as a result. 

Speaking of conflict, that’s another thing that tends to differ between traditional romances and queer romances. In a traditional romance, much of the conflict comes from the lovers themselves as they learn how to deal with their differences. They may have different habits, goals, situations, ideals, etc. Alternatively, in a queer romance, conflict in the story often comes from outside the relationship, such as from family members who disagree with the relationship, or politicians who advocate for laws that could jeopardize the lovers’ lifestyle. Of course, neither type of story is limited by what kind of conflict it can include. These are just generalizations. 

If you want to generate some ideas for conflict to include in your story, be sure to check out The 4 Main Types of Conflict in Stories (And Variations!)

Tips for Creating Queer Characters

Characters are the foundation of a good romance. If the characters are not written well as individuals, then readers won’t care about the romance. For the most part, queer characters should be written just like any other character, and that shouldn’t really come as a shock to anyone. (Queer people are just people, after all.)

How to Make Characters Interesting, Complex, and Unique is an article that will walk you through the basic things you need to keep in mind when creating characters for a story.

That aside, here are some tips for writing about LGBT+ characters:

• Make sure you know the terminology. If you’re not familiar with LGBT+ terminology, you’ll want to make sure you do your research to make sure you can talk about queer people and their lifestyles convincingly. This also applies to knowing how to use gender-neutral language when referring to characters who use neutral pronouns. For more information on the topic, check out How to Create Nonbinary Characters.
• Avoid stereotypes. This should be obvious, but not all gay men are sassy and flamboyant. Not all butch lesbians are interested in traditionally feminine women. Not all nonbinary people look androgynous. Not all trans people get surgery. Keep this in mind while you are creating your characters.  
• Don’t make the characters’ entire personalities about being queer. LGBT+ people have hobbies, talents, and flaws that don’t have anything to do with their sexuality or gender. They should be able to go rock climbing or paint a picture without thinking about being queer. 
• Don’t trivialize the characters’ sexuality, gender, or relationships. Queer relationships are not any less meaningful or legitimate than traditional relationships. Be careful about how you portray the relationship so that you don’t create that perception.
• Avoid narrow representation. Just because you’re writing a queer romance doesn’t mean both the characters involved in the relationship are LGBT+. However, you should consider including more than one queer character in your story to avoid creating a narrow perception of the community you’re representing. For example, if your only trans character is a party animal, readers will assume that’s what you think of all trans people. If you have more than one trans character in the story, however, their personalities will seem like just normal variations in a diverse community. 
• Avoid tokenization. Along the same lines as the above bullet point, make sure you include a diverse range of queer characters in your story, rather than relying on the main characters being the sole queer people in the entire story. Contrary to what popular media tends to depict, queer people tend to have many queer friends.

Writing About Attraction and Relationship Chemistry 

Once you have your character concepts, you need to start crafting the relationship you want them to have. You need to make sure it’s realistic for the characters to end up together, and if the characters aren’t compatible, you’re going to have a hard time getting readers to connect with them. 

Ultimately, relationship compatibility is about convincing readers that the characters are good for each other. It isn’t all about opposites or similarities, but rather, it’s about finding opportunities for them to meet the other’s relationship needs. Consider what each character would find attractive, and what kind of personality would work well with theirs. Some people consider humor to be the most important factor when choosing a partner, whereas other people consider long-term goals or lifestyles first. Others judge potential partners on their ambition, appearance, or interests. 

Establish what each character likes or needs before the characters fall in love, so their attraction to each other feels more natural. You don’t have to state this explicitly, however. If you show your character being a disorganized, depressed mess, your readers will automatically assume they would benefit from being with someone who is patient and well-grounded. Then, when you introduce that attractive, organized, and soft-spoken librarian, readers will feel that romantic spark between them right away. 

However, it can also be fun if your story starts with the characters disliking each other, and then slowly coming to realize that they just might have feelings for each other. The “enemies to lovers” trope is incredibly popular, and it works really well if the characters’ hatred for one another stems from misunderstanding or bias. A large part of the plot could revolve around the characters’ individual personal growth and development as they let go of their old biases and reevaluate things they have been made to believe. This can be a great parallel to go along with a character’s self-discovery about their own sexuality.

If this is a dynamic you want to explore for your queer love story, you can take a look at my other article: Writing From Enemies to Lovers: Creating Dynamic Relationships.

Keep in mind, however, that the characters still need to be compatible with each other—even if they can’t see it in the beginning. 

Unique Challenges for Writing A Queer Love Story

When you’re writing a queer love story, there are a lot of nuances you need to be aware of.

In most of the world, being a queer person can be a dangerous thing, and if you write realistic fiction, a certain degree of struggle and pain is going to end up in your story. At the same time, however, there are already many, many queer love stories that depict the painful reality that is being queer in a world that refuses to accept that.

It’s okay to write fiction that’s meant to be an escape from reality. It’s okay to write queer romances that aren’t also queer tragedies. There should be love stories featuring LGBT+ characters that aren’t filled with sadness and trauma. Even if it’s unrealistically optimistic, queer people deserve to see themselves represented in happy stories where they can be loved for being themselves. Queer characters deserve happy endings too. 

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write your dark and gritty story featuring heartbreak, angst, and trauma, but it is something you should think about.

When you want to write, but you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for new ideas, you can rely on writing prompts to generate new inspiration. This is especially true when it comes to writing romances. In addition to that, it can be disheartening to feel that the romance genre has been exhausted, and there are simply no good ideas left. 

I took some time to put together a list of romance writing prompts, which is one of the most-searched-for and requested genres on my site. Some of these romance writing prompts are left deliberately vague to spark inspiration, while others offer more context to help you build the story around them. As always, feel free to change up any aspect of the prompt you want to suit your needs!

Romance Writing Prompts

Are you craving writing romance, but you’re fresh out of ideas? Take a look at the romance writing prompts below to spark your inspiration and get you writing again!

• Two characters run away from home to be together, but things don’t exactly go as planned. What happens next? 
• An elderly couple looks back on their favorite dates. They both have different favorites for different reasons. Have them explain why their favorites differ, and why those experiences were uniquely meaningful to them. 
• Two characters are top competitors (in sports, video game competitions, chess, whatever you choose) and they always end up going against each other for 1st place. One day, after losing a close match, one character decides to attend the other’s celebration party. After a few glasses of champagne, they end up having their first real conversation with their competitor outside of a competition—and find out they’re actually quite charming. 
• A character randomly gets asked out on a date, by someone they haven’t talked to since high school.
• Two old friends meet up again after losing contact with each other in college. One hasn’t changed much, but the other is like a completely different person. The first character ends up falling in love with the second character, but it soon becomes clear that something terrible must have happened while they were apart to change them.
• Two best friends have decided to get married if they haven’t found love by the time they both turn 40. Well, that time has come, and the younger one is about to turn 40. Write about the two of them planning their best-friend-wedding. 
• Two coworkers are in love. Write a scene in which the lovers try to sneak a kiss in the break room, the storage closet, or elsewhere, but they keep getting interrupted. 
• Four characters are roommates, but two of them are secretly dating. Write a story where the lovers have to hide their relationship from the other two roommates for some reason. 
• You have the magical ability to make everyone fall in love with you, but it’s not exactly the blessing it sounds like. Everyone quickly becomes possessive and jealous, and admirers often fight for your attention. One day, you encounter someone who is unaffected by your magic, and you find yourself falling in love for the first time. How do you win the heart of the one person alive who doesn’t love you, while coping with hordes of jealous fans?
• Cupid made a mistake, and now someone is head-over-heels for Cupid himself! It’s forbidden for mortals and deities to form relationships, but Cupid ends up developing feelings for this person in return. What happens next?
• A married couple has been having problems with their relationship, so they decide to go to couple’s counseling. However, they both end up falling in love with their attractive counselor! 
• The existence of soulmates is common knowledge in this world. However, when you meet yours, they aren’t exactly how you expect them to be. In fact, you can’t stand them. You can only assume that there’s more to them than meets the eye (after all, you’re fated to be together), so you decide to give them a chance. What happens next?
• While you’re out at a gathering (a party, a club, a class trip, etc), you notice that your clingy, manipulative ex is in the crowd. In a panic, you find the nearest single person and quickly explain the situation. They agree to pretend to be your date for the night, and throughout the evening, you two actually end up hitting it off. By the end of the night, you two go home with each other’s phone numbers. 
• Two old friends decide to go on a road trip together. They’ve planned to go camping to multiple different remote locations, where it will be just the two of them, surrounded by only wilderness. During the trip, they have many deep, late-night conversations that lead to them developing feelings for each other. 
• Two characters are in love. Neither of them is human (vampire, werewolf, sorcerer, etc), but they are both keeping that a secret from each other. They both end up making excuses to cover up the truth, such as “I’m allergic to garlic, actually” or “Sorry, I can’t come over during the full moon. I have to… babysit.” Eventually, one of them slips up and accidentally reveals that they aren’t human—unaware that the other character is hiding the same secret. 
• You’re a professional matchmaker. Write a story about how you would get two unlikely characters to realize how good they’d be for each other. 
• Write a story in which someone discovers that their lover isn’t exactly who they thought they were. 
• Write a story that involves a public proposal. What does it entail? Where does the character propose? How elaborate and flashy is the proposal?
• Two lovers are partners in crime and on the run from the law. Write about one of their heists, and how they celebrate getting away with another exciting crime. 
• Two characters are bound in eternal love. Every time they die, they get reborn, and they always find each other again. This time, however, one character just cannot seem to find their lover, no matter how much they search. Years become decades, and they end up dedicating lifetimes to trying to find them.
• Two characters have been married for a while, and their relationship is starting to lose its spark. One character decides to do something big to liven things up again. 
• Two characters go on a blind date. Alternate between their perspectives to give readers a detailed look at how each character views their date. 
• Two characters have grown up together. They did everything together, and they have always been super close friends. One day, one confesses their love to the other, and finds that they don’t feel the same. After some time, the other character starts to realize that they actually do feel the same, but are they too late to make things work? 
• Two characters are dating, but one of them falls in love with someone else. How do they break up with their current partner to pursue their new love? Or, alternatively, does the couple end up becoming three? 
• Two rival detectives are hired to work on the same case together. At first, they don’t get along at all, and teamwork is impossible. However, as time goes on and they deal with dangerous suspects, long road trips, and late nights together, they end up falling in love. (Bonus points if one realizes their feelings for the other during a shootout or other dangerous situation.)
• Two characters used to date when they were younger, but they ended up parting on bad terms. After several years and other failed relationships, the two decide to meet up and give each other a second chance. 
• Two characters go on a date. One character assumes it’s just a “friend date”—that is until the other character goes in for a kiss. 
• You sign up for a blind date on a cruise, and you end up getting paired with someone you absolutely despise. You’re going to be stuck with them for 5 days out at sea, so you might as well try to enjoy yourself. Halfway through the trip, you realize they aren’t as bad as you thought they were. In fact, they’re quite sweet in their own way. 

Romantic Dialogue Prompts

Sometimes, all you need is a line of dialogue to get inspired to write. You can build an entire story around one little fragment of dialogue. Who are these characters? Where is the scene taking place? What are they talking about? What happens next?

Dialogue writing prompts give you just enough context to start thinking creatively, without limiting the scope of your imagination. Why not try using a few of these romantic dialogue prompts yourself?

• “That was the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard. Want to try that again?”
• “Do you forgive me?”
• “You’re all talk. Why don’t you show me what you really mean?”
• “Oh, it’s not that bad, really. You know I would do anything for you.” 
• “Don’t go. I don’t even know who I am without you.” 
• “I know everything is pretty crazy right now, but when we can finally go home, I’d like to take you on a date.” 
• “Heh… Your face is cold.” 
• “Stay the night with me. Please…”
• “You’re so cute when you’re sleepy.” 
• “I’ll follow you wherever you go, no matter what it takes. I’ll follow you to the edge of Hell and beyond.”
• “I believe you.”
• “You aren’t even gone and I already miss you.”
• “It’s not that I like you, I just… well- I… I just… Okay. Maybe I like you, so what?”
• “I know he isn’t my type, but I think he might be the one.”
• “I’m afraid that one day, you just might never make it home.” 
• “Just stay and watch the stars with me for another hour.”
• “You look like a mess. Come here.”
• “I’d do anything to make it up to you.” 
• “Dance with me.”
• “And I would do it a thousand more times.”

Tips for Writing a Romance

Romance can be a hard genre to write without coming across as cheesy and cliché. If you want some pointers for writing about romance, check out these articles below:

Writing From Enemies to Lovers: Creating Dynamic Relationships

Romance 101: How to Write Characters Falling in Love

Good luck, writers!

Nothing is more satisfying than watching bitter rivals slowly fall in love. The enemies to lovers trope is a popular one, and with good reason! In fact, one of the most famous love stories of all time, Romeo and Juliet, bases the entire plot around this idea. However, if you aren’t careful about how you utilize it in your own stories, your story will come across as inauthentic.

Making enemies fall in love with each other is no easy task, and it requires a lot of careful planning to pull off. Not only do the characters need to have chemistry, but you also need to ensure that whatever inspired their hate isn’t unforgivable. The last thing you want is for your romance plot to feel forced. 

Why the Enemies to Lovers Trope is So Popular

The enemies to lovers trope is everywhere, in novels, movies, and roleplay forums. We can’t help but love it! But… Why is this trope such a popular choice for writers, readers, and roleplayers alike? Well, it’s actually not as simple as you might think. There’s a psychological explanation for why this trope is so universally appealing. 

The simplest way to explain why people love this trope so much is that it is gratifying for readers. Any time you give readers the chance to figure something out before the characters do is an opportunity to invest them in the storyline and get more attached to the characters. Readers can see that two characters could be good friends or lovers if they could set aside their differences or disagreements, even if the characters can’t stand each other in the beginning. You control how their relationship is perceived, but you can still give readers that moment of “aha! I knew they were right for each other!”

In addition to that, these kinds of stories often include redemption, character development, and overcoming biases, beliefs, and outside influence in order for the characters to achieve happiness. Everyone loves to root for the misunderstood characters, the underdogs, and the ones down on their luck. These stories are hopeful, and even if we don’t want to admit it, humans are suckers for hope.

Establish the Characters in the Story 

First and foremost, you’re going to need to make sure that the enemies have the potential to get along. You need to be very strategic about how you design these characters, since this will determine whether or not the dynamic will work authentically. The characters should be unique individuals, obviously, but you need to build them in such a way that your readers will be able to identify their chemistry. 

The two characters should have some similar or complementary traits. The characters could have a similar sense of humor, banter with sarcasm, or have beliefs or goals that align with each other’s. They should have traits that make up for the other’s shortcomings, and they should have struggles and flaws that the other character could help them with—if they could only get along.  

However, you shouldn’t force these similarities down your readers’ throats—you want readers to pick up on the subtleties, so don’t be too obvious about it. These parallels should give readers the sense that they would get along, if not for whatever obstacle warped their opinions of each other in the beginning. 

If you want more ideas for all the ways you can influence the way your characters are perceived, you can check out my other article: How to Make Characters Interesting, Complex, and Unique.

Decide the Reasons Why the Characters Hate Each Other

There are a number of different reasons that characters could have for hating each other, but you need to be careful about how you approach this as well. Some reasons work better for this dynamic than others, so here are some of the best reasons to utilize if you want your rivals to fall in love:

• War: Being on opposing sides of a war positions characters to despise each other regardless of their personalities. Their hatred for each other is based on their moral dedication to their country, gang, or clan, and not on their inherent qualities as people. You could also apply this idea to smaller things, like being on opposing sides of a debate, being in different schools, or anything that positions them to be against each other—usually for arbitrary or superficial reasons.
• Misunderstanding: Misunderstandings are wonderful ways of making your readers pull their hair out, as they witness the characters repeatedly lean on assumptions to justify their needless hatred of the other person. This works as a great setup for turning enemies into lovers, since the basis for their hatred is rooted in misconceptions about each other. Once those misconceptions are cleared up and corrected, the characters can realize that they no longer need to hate each other.
• Beliefs: This one is a little more difficult to work with, since opposing beliefs can be hard for people to tolerate. Religion, politics, and morals are often dealbreakers when it comes to getting along. However, if their relationship involves overcoming negative biases and toxic ideals, then this could work out. Overcoming these flawed beliefs could be part of a character’s development, and allow the characters to reconcile their disputes. 
• Society: Nothing stings worse than when characters hate each other because of their parents, education, or class differences. If characters believe they hate each other because they were taught to hate each other, then they will have to work out their own internal struggles individually before they can get along together.
• Bad First Impressions: Sometimes, a negative first impression is all it takes for the characters to start looking for more reasons to hate one another. After a first meeting, people begin to make assumptions about each other, and your characters could easily assume the worst. 
• Competition: Competition can bring out the worst in people, so if your two characters are both vying for the same goal, they might clash as a result. If two people are competing to be the best knight, athlete, chess player, or whatever else, then they are probably going to dislike each other. The great thing about this type of hatred is that it is often accompanied by great respect for their rival, and it also gives you a good similarity between the characters that you can rely on to draw them closer together. 

Basing the characters’ hatred on misunderstanding and things outside of their control, rather than on their inherent traits, gives them a better chance at forgiving each other and eventually getting along. The characters’ hatred should never be based on things that are unforgivable, and they shouldn’t be allowed to evolve as a result of abuse or trauma. You cannot reasonably expect two people to fall in love if one has murdered the other’s family, kidnapped them, or done anything along those lines. It would not result in a happy, healthy relationship, and therefore isn’t as gratifying for readers.

If your characters hate each other for the wrong reasons, then you could end up inadvertently romanticizing bullying, abuse, and manipulative relationships. I shouldn’t have to tell you—do not do this. 

How to Make Two Characters Who Hate Each Other Fall in Love

The biggest mistake that writers make when attempting this trope is that they move through the arc too quickly. Overcoming intense feelings for another person takes time, and it will happen in distinct phases. First, the characters need to forgive each other for whatever made them hate each other in the beginning, then they will likely be friends before they can come anywhere close to falling in love. 

Here are some suggestions for helping the characters realize their true feelings for their rival.

Give the Characters Time Alone with Each Other

The first thing you should be looking for in your plot is an opportunity to force the two (soon-to-be) lovebirds together. Since, in most cases, the dynamic is based on misunderstanding, outside influence, or warped perspectives, getting the characters alone together can tip the domino that starts their new relationship. 

Talking things out can be beneficial. Even if all the characters do is argue, you should use situations like this to let the characters get things off their chests and admit how the other’s behavior is wrong or hurts people. It can be a telling display that they care more than they want to admit. It can also get each character to realize what the other person is misunderstanding.

Make Characters Work Together

Once they have had some time alone to talk things out (or argue), then the next thing you could do to help them overcome their differences is to work together. Working towards the same goal can help two characters see eye-to-eye, and it can give them an opportunity to show off their more redeeming qualities and skills. Maybe they have to work together to escape, survive, or prove someone’s innocence. Maybe they need to go on a quest together to retrieve a treasure. Whatever you choose, make sure you give each character an opportunity to prove that they aren’t as bad as the other one thinks they are. 

Utilize Sexual Tension Between the Characters

Characters that are psychically attracted to each other despite how they feel emotionally can actually be a sign that they don’t hate them as much as they think they do. It’s near impossible to be sexually attracted to someone you hate, so this can clue readers in that there might be some potential for emotional attraction as well. Plus, sexual tension can be fun, and it can lead to entertaining conversations and awkward feelings. 

My all-time favorite way to utilize this technique is with teasing. Teasing is inherently a little mean, but it is also inherently a little coy. Characters can still make fun of the other person’s behavior, style, or mistakes, but they do so in a way that invites flirty bantering. If you pull this off well, your readers will be begging the two characters to “just kiss already!”

However, there are other ways to use this technique as well. You could have one character make the other blush whenever they take off their shirt. You could give them dreams about each other, have them imagine them with other people, or otherwise fixate on certain aspects of them, like their biceps, hands, hair, smile, or gait. 

Give the Characters some Internal Struggle

Realizing your feelings for your mortal enemy isn’t an easy thing to come to terms with. The characters should struggle with all the things the other has said, done, or experienced. It’s hard to take back nasty statements, and it can be even harder to give or accept forgiveness. 

There are several reasons why the characters might be struggling with their feelings. They may be in denial about how they truly feel, or they could attempt to ignore their feelings. They could be conflicted about how they should feel, or just confused. They might assume that a relationship could never work out because of the characters’ history with each other, or they might assume that their feelings are a result of shared trauma, loneliness, or desperation. 

This is the point in which the characters need to do some soul-searching to figure out exactly how they feel, why they feel that way, and what they want to do about those feelings. 

Let the Characters Evolve

If the characters are going to make things work between them, they cannot simply continue the way things have always been. They must acknowledge where they were wrong, and change themselves for the better. They must confront their beliefs and change their perspective, and above all else, they need to forgive themselves and each other for the time they spent hating the other. 

In many cases, characters will need to redeem themselves before their relationship will work. This is a great opportunity to write a redemption arc for one (or both) of the characters, which can make readers feel even more emotionally attached to the characters. 

Writing a Confession of Love

Once the characters have overcome the obstacles in the way of their love and come to terms with how they feel, the next step is for them to admit those feelings to each other. 

How your character decides to approach this decision is going to depend on their personality and their existing relationship with the other person. One type of character may approach it awkwardly, while a different type of character could choose to be more subtle about it. However you choose to have them bring it up, make sure the scene carries some emotional weight to it. You want readers to feel like the stakes are high. 

It’s worth noting that the characters aren’t likely to confess their love without feeling some shred of reciprocity. If they haven’t noticed any indication that the other person likes them back, such as flirting, teasing, or staring, then they’re probably going to sit on those feelings for a while. Both of the characters can even be doing this at the same time, without realizing that the other person feels the same way.

For some more general tips for writing about romances, you can look to my other article: Romance 101: How to Write Characters Falling in Love.

Give the Characters Their Happily Ever After

In the end, the relationship should make both characters better people. They would have both become more sympathetic to the ways their actions influence others, and in many cases, they would have had to overcome bigotry, biases, and societal restraints in order to end up happy in the end. The whole point of the trope is to have two characters that would be happier, healthier, and overall just better together—if they could only set aside their differences. Without that necessary development, your readers won’t have much to root for. 

And finally, although I mentioned it above, I’ll say it again: don’t use this trope to romanticize bullying, abuse, or manipulation. Not only does that defeat the purpose of the trope, but it is also obviously harmful to impressionable readers.

Any story can be enhanced with a good romantic subplot, but if romance isn’t your genre, you’re probably worried about how you’d pull it off. You want it to be emotional and meaningful, but not sappy and cliché. Sooner or later, it’s a genre you’ll end up having to explore at least briefly in order to create dynamic and varied relationships between characters. But… even if you’re in a happy relationship, you might still be lost on how to convey romance authentically in your stories.

The most difficult part about writing a romantic story is the initial meeting between the love interests and the romantic spark between them. It can be difficult to write characters falling in love, since it’s such a natural experience for people in real life. Too often, romances feel unrealistic, forced, or just downright problematic. It’s easy to mess up, so how should you approach writing characters discovering and developing their feelings for each other? Well, there are a few techniques that you can utilize to create an authentic, emotional romantic plot that will keep your readers hooked. 

How to Avoid Romance Clichés

First and foremost: “love at first sight” does not exist. This isn’t a hot take, it just isn’t a real thing that happens. Love is complicated, and you can’t expect such a deep connection to develop on its own. It doesn’t simply manifest after one look. Real love is something that grows over time as people get to know each other and make the effort to foster an intimate connection. Love doesn’t evolve overnight like a Pokémon. In fact, romance stories hardly ever involve realistic depictions of love—most of them don’t even come close. 

With that said, “attraction at first sight” does exist. You can meet a person and be physically, emotionally, or intellectually attracted to them. Attraction doesn’t come with any attachments. You don’t need to know someone to know that they’re gorgeous, you just have to look at them. But finding someone attractive does not mean you’re in love with them. Too many times, fiction writers rely on the notion of “love at first sight” to create the basis of their romantic relationships, when all that really is is lust. It just doesn’t feel authentic. 

That is probably the most prevalent (and worst) romance cliché that writers litter throughout their stories, but that is by no means the only one. Clichés can kill an otherwise good story, and they are unfortunately abundant in romances. Even if the story you’re writing is primarily some other genre, like comedy or mystery, romantic clichés can work their poison into the storyline. 

It’s difficult to describe every type of romantic cliché, since there are just too many to count. The best way to avoid clichés is to be able to spot them yourself, and you just can’t do that if you aren’t familiar with the genre. Although it might seem counterintuitive to read a bunch of romance stories to learn what not to do, that’s the best advice I can give you. Immerse yourself in cheesy romance stories, watch every rom-com you can, and read every sappy romance novel you can get your hands on. 

Then, when it comes to writing your own story, you know the types of tropes that work well and what feels wrong to a reader. Never forget that you are a reader as well. If something doesn’t feel right to you in someone else’s story, don’t put it in yours. Your reactions to an incompatible relationship, unrealistic flirty dialogue, or bizarre romantic scenarios are likely going to be in-line with how your readers would react too. 

How to Write Attraction

Let’s jump back a few steps and focus on the notion of attraction. Attraction and love aren’t the same thing, clearly, but an initial attraction can inspire people to pursue a conversation, which can lead to feelings of love developing. Being physically attractive, having a good sense of humor, or having similar hobbies can all inspire conversation between two hopeful romantics, but it’s not until after they’ve gotten to know each other can the attraction become something that resembles love. 

When it comes to writing attraction, subtlety is your friend. The last thing you should consider doing is having your character see someone else and simply announce “they’re cute.” That is a boring way of really slapping your readers in the face with the fact that the other character is likely to be the story’s love interest. And honestly, in reality, no one looks at someone with wonder when they enter the room, no matter how attractive the other person is. (Remember those clichés we talked about above? Any time you feel tempted to write about “time slowing down” or “nothing else in the room mattering” or something along those lines, you should really stop yourself and consider how creepy it would be if someone just stopped to stare open-mouthed at someone who just entered the room. Yeah… not cute, is it?)

Instead of being obvious about the attraction, you should draw attention to smaller details. Have the main character notice little things, like the way their love interest’s skirt flows when they move, or the way their hair blows around in the wind. Eye contact is a fantastic way of conveying attraction more subtly, so have your character notice the color of the other person’s eyes, or the way they wrinkle when the person smiles. Have your main character think about the other person’s voice, the way they stand, or how they move. These aren’t things you would typically think about—unless you had a crush on someone. 

Along that same line, you can also use this technique to show romantic interest budding between two friends. Even if two characters have known each other for a while, throwing in one simple line can be a strong clue to readers that the character is slowly falling in love with their friend. For example: “how had I never noticed before how blue his eyes were?” That not only suggests a peaked interest, but it also tells your readers more subliminally that the two characters shared a moment of eye contact long enough for the main character to notice that detail. 

Letting readers notice on their own that the main character likes another character is much more rewarding for them than simply being told. This allows them to become more invested in the relationship, which is important for any love story. However, there are many other ways you can influence readers to make them care more about the characters, the relationships between them, and the story as a whole. 

How to Make Your Readers Care About the Romance

You can put a lot of effort into the relationship between two characters, but that doesn’t obligate readers to care about it. In order to make your readers care about the romantic plot, you need to make it interesting, and you need to make it meaningful to the storyline. Romance in a story shouldn’t exist just for the sole purpose of existing. It should create conflict in the story, illustrate a character’s shortcomings or personal development, or just create a fun dynamic that is interesting to read. Ask yourself: “what is the purpose of this relationship?” If you don’t have a good answer, then you need to find a way to make it more integral to the way the story plays out. 

In addition to having a purpose in the story, the relationship between the characters should be inherently interesting. In order to achieve that, you should consider a few different factors that would influence your readers’ perceptions of the relationship. 

Make the Characters Individually Interesting

Long before you even consider the romantic relationship, you need to make sure the characters are interesting on their own. In addition to that, you need to make sure that your readers have time to get to know the characters before you rush them into a relationship with another character. You don’t want any character’s identity to be tied to their relationship with another person—they need to be complex and unique individuals, both within and outside of their interactions with other characters.

The process of making a compelling character is a little difficult to cover in just one short section, but fundamentally, you should establish several distinct things about each character long before you should consider how to make them fall in love. These things are:

• Appearance
• Backstory
• Mannerisms
• Goals
• Likes and Dislikes
• Flaws

Each of those aspects is important, but I don’t have the space here to talk about all of them. So, I will be focusing on what is arguably the most important point: flaws. Characters should have behaviors or fears they need to overcome, warped beliefs, or some sort of bad habit. These traits might make them confrontational, difficult to love, or even a bit dysfunctional—but that’s the whole point. No one in the world is perfect, so your characters shouldn’t be either. 

Flaws create conflict, which drives a story forward, and above all else, they make characters more believable and relatable. If a reader can root for a character to achieve something they struggle with, overcome personal obstacles in their life, or find love despite their flaws, then they’re going to be much more attached to that character.

Some great character flaws that work well in romantic stories are:

• Emotional coldness
• Distrust
• Addiction
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Naivety
• Fear of commitment

With that said, it can be difficult to create flawed characters that aren’t over-the-top, annoying, or just generally unlikable. If you want some more guidance on the topic, I have another article that could be helpful: How to Create Complex Flaws for Characters.

Ensure the Characters have Romantic Chemistry 

Only after you have unique individual characters should you begin thinking about crafting romantic interactions between them. Your characters should be interesting by themselves, but when your couple comes together, they should have a dynamic that’s interesting too. The pairing needs to have Romantic Chemistry, meaning that they have to be compatible and make sense together. Romantic chemistry between characters cannot be forced, and trying to pair two characters together that aren’t a good fit for each other just isn’t going to work. That kind of relationship isn’t going to resonate with your readers.

There are four main types of romantic chemistry. You don’t need your couple to check all four boxes, but you should at least take the time to consider each one.

1. Physical – the characters should be physically attracted to each other, at least a little. This plays into the characters’ sexuality, and a strong sexual bond can help support trust in a good emotional relationship. 
2. Emotional – the characters should feel emotionally supported by each other, and they should trust in their partner.
3. Spiritual – the characters should share similar beliefs or lifestyles, at least in some aspects of their lives. Conflicting cultures, religions, and ideals can still work together, but you should make sure it’s still a realistic dynamic. 
4. Intellectual – the characters should have similar degrees of intelligence. This is less about particular areas of intelligence, and more about critical thinking abilities. An artist and a scientist could get along fine, since their individual pursuits both require a degree of intelligence, skill, and critical thinking to achieve. However, a scientist may have trouble feeling attracted to a bumbling idiot.

So, how do you create romantic chemistry between two characters? Well, you need to think about them as individuals again. I know that sounds redundant, but bear with me.

In order to make a couple romantically compatible, they need to have character traits that complement each other. That doesn’t mean that they should always be opposites, however. Complimentary doesn’t have to mean they balance each other out. The two characters could share many similar traits and still be compatible. Two characters that are similarly sarcastic could riff off each other’s sarcasm and get along quite well, but that same situation could also end up frustrating everyone involved if the characters’ other traits conflict. 

In addition to the pairing working well together, you need to consider what each character wants, and what makes sense for their personality. A character struggling with addiction and depression might benefit most from a relationship with someone patient, caring, and doting, but if that’s not the type of relationship they want, then it would be difficult to justify. You should take into consideration the characters’ sexual preferences, emotional needs, and desires in a relationship. Two characters might be great for each other objectively, but if you can’t make it realistic given the characters’ preferences, then it won’t feel right. 

Use Conflict to Keep it Interesting

To get readers really invested in the romance, there needs to be some sort of conflict. You can’t make things too easy for your lovebirds, or you’ll bore your readers. Conflict is the heart of storytelling, so you need to put something in the way of the characters’ relationship to keep it interesting. 

The easiest way of creating conflict in a romance is to have an obstacle in the way of the lovers’ relationship. This obstacle can take many different forms, but here are a few example scenarios that you could use to create some difficulty for your couple:

• One character’s family is unsupportive of the relationship between the two characters. That could be because of an arranged marriage, a conflict of beliefs, or just good old fashioned helicopter parenting. This is especially applicable if the other character has bad habits, a general disregard for tradition, or a hard emotional exterior. 
• One character has a destructive habit that just can’t continue if they expect the relationship to work. If they smoke, and the other character is against that despite being compatible in all other aspects, then that could be enough to disrupt the relationship. The original character would be forced to choose between their vices and their love for the other character.
• One character is offered a great job that they just can’t reject, but that would mean moving far away from the other character. The other character may be unable or unwilling to move with them, so each character has to decide between their individual futures and their future together. 
• One character has had bad luck with love in the past, and they’re having a difficult time opening up to the other character despite their feelings. They could experience significant inner turmoil as they try to find a balance between loving the other character and protecting themself. 
• One character has a crush on another character, but can’t or won’t confess for whatever reason. This is especially entertaining if the other character feels the same way. 
• Two characters want to be together, but one character’s vengeful ex keeps trying to sabotage them with lies, trickery, or even just digging up their pasts. 

There are tons of other options you could choose for establishing conflict in the relationship. Whatever you choose, make sure it makes sense for the story, and doesn’t push the characters or their relationship too far. Too much conflict between the two characters could be perceived as toxic or unhealthy, even if they end up happy together in the end. 

Develop the Romance Over Time

Once you’re sure that it’s realistic for the characters to fall in love in the first place, then you need to figure out how to pace the romantic development. Love isn’t something that develops quickly, but rather builds up slowly over time. Sometimes, the onset of romantic feelings can be so discreet and so slow that your readers may notice the attraction between the characters before the characters themselves acknowledge their own feelings. 

One of the most irritating tropes in romance stories is the idea of falling “hard and fast” in love. Passion and lust can blossom quickly, but don’t confuse that with true feelings of love. If you want the relationship between your characters to be perceived as true love, then the longer you draw it out, the more authentic it’s going to feel. Additionally, if your readers get to watch the relationship unfold slowly, it will be more rewarding to read once the two characters get together. 

Sometimes, however, situations can force two characters together faster out of loneliness, desperation, or mutual fear. Two characters destined to save the world together may end up caring about each other much faster than two characters that meet for coffee on weekends. A night of passion could lead to feelings of confusion and self-reflection, which could end up developing into emotional and romantic attachment. Additionally, near-death experiences could pressure characters to face or admit their feelings earlier than they otherwise would, since they could fear they’d miss their opportunity if the other character died. 

You should approach these kinds of situations cautiously, however, especially if you want the readers to perceive the relationship as authentic and not just a product of the characters’ circumstances. 

Love in the Little Things: Writing Love Subtly

Love isn’t something that everyone expresses the same way. Everyone has their own ways of expressing and cherishing love, so don’t assume that there’s only one right way to write about it. Some characters may show their love physically, with kisses, hand-holding, and running their fingers through their partner’s hair. Other characters may show their love through their actions, by staying up with their partner even when they’re exhausted, always giving them the best part of things they share, and preferring to do everything together rather than apart. Some characters may go to great lengths to act on their love for another character, such as changing bad habits, learning how to do things their partner enjoys, and showering their partner in gifts.

Characters showing their love for each other doesn’t have to be dramatic. You can illustrate love between two characters in the thousands of little things they do for each other, in the way they look at each other, and the subtle ways they think and talk about each other. Hide hints of their feelings together in every action, every word they say, and your readers will understand their feelings without having to be told. 

Remember, when characters really truly love each other, your readers will love them too.